SIGNS OF HAVING INFERIORITY COMPLEX
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WHAT IS INFERIORITY COMPLEX?
According to WIKKIPEDIA, Inferiority complex in the fields of psychology and psychoanalysis, is a feeling that one is inferior to others in some way. Such feelings can arise from an imagined or actual inferiority in the afflicted person. It is often subconscious, and is thought to drive afflicted individuals to overcompensate, resulting either in spectacular achievement or extreme antisocial behavior, or both. Unlike a normal feeling of inferiority, which can act as an incentive for achievement, an inferiority complex is an advanced state of discouragement, often resulting in a retreat from difficulties.
Another term for having this syndrome is having a very low SELF ESTEEM. Many of us suffers this phase one way or another. Those with inferiority complex are more likely to be miserable, unhappy, ill-tempered and argumentable. They are ones who always feel rejected, unloved and useless. The confidence level is way down hell and attention span is way over heaven. Extremes, right?
So what could be the reason? Would it be how you were raised by your parents? Could it be how successful your friends are now? Was it because you were dumped by your EX because of that sexy chick he's going out with? Was it because you thought all along that you will be promoted but you were not? Or would it be for a fact that you just feel that you are NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
Whatever the reason is, we should know how to overcome it. I'll come up with another hub on how to manage it. First, let us know the signs that you have this so-called inferiority complex.
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TOP SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEX
- FAULT FINDER - Since you don't really feel good about yourself, you also have difficulty feeling good about others. You really find ways to enumerate their imperfections. You look for ways on how you can make these people not feel good about themselves too. That's what we call crab mentality-we pull them down with us. These are the people that will never feel confident and superior unless the competition is away. You have the tendency to blame others to cover up for your shortcoming. If your friend is having an ultimate time with her boyfriend, and you don't have any, you will discourage your friend by saying things that might make her break up with him...so you'll have someone who will be as miserable as you are.
- DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM - These people know their flaws or shortcomings and yet, whenever they are being given an opionion they take it seriously and that will make them feel worse. Since they have extremely low self esteem, they feel like they didn't do well but if you point that out, well, that will be the day!
- TENDS TO BE TIMID ON A CROWD - Those people who feels inferior has the tendency to create a hermit out of themselves, avoiding social gatherings and meetings. They would rather be alone in their own world than having the world know their flaws. They feel that they aren't as smart and as interesting like others. It will really be hard to have this kind of person to speak up, because he feels that he will just make himself a laughingstock out of himself, afraid that he'll say something embarrassing or senseless. These are the ones who avoid debates, forum,etc.
- FLATTER ME! - You want to always hear others complimenting how you look, how you did on that article, what you did great or what have you. Because you are so desperate, there are some instances that if nobody praises you, you'll start telling people what you did so you'd get nice compliments. Or you will start asking people, "Do you think I did great?", "Do I look good tonight?" ...so you'd get complimented. (What if the person you asked said otherwise? Well...that wil make your self esteem way way low)
- DON'T FLATTER ME! - You don't want to hear any compliment, even you really did well. For you, that's just a way to make you feel a bit better, you feel like the comment isn't really coming from the heart. You refuse to listen to positive comments since you know inside your heart that you are not good enough.
- UNHEALTHY COMPETITION - You really don't love competing with others but if you do, you'll find all ways on how you can outdo your competition. Because if you loose, then you'll feel that you aren't that good enough and you will instill in your mind not compete with anyone for you will never win at all. You envy those who are always on top of everything and you feel you will never be like that even in your wildest dreams.
So, do have inferiority complex? Do the signs fit your personality? Well, do not worry, like what I've said, it could be just a passing phase. You can always outsmart your feelings. There will come a time that you will realize how these signs can make you a better person...
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Lawrence Jackson, you're spelling is horrid. Just saying. Try harder. :D
"you're spelling is horrid."
So, YOU ARE spelling is horrid? Really? I think you need to check YOUR credentials, Lieutenant Spelling.
Ah i know that feeling, it fits me well, I never feel good enough, i allways avoid people and stay on my own, I'm 18, ive never had a relationship, kissed a gir, done well in school or do well in anything really. I, trying my best, but its just not good enough. :/
I am an easy going guy who likes to help people and I have a lot of friends. I have 2 wonderful children who are now in their 20's and am just living with my wife.
It seems that every day she is putting me down for no apparent reason. I cook, clean, go to work and am always trying to give her attention. She likes to watch TV and read a lot of books. I always ask her if she would like to come out with me but, she just doesn't want to. She asks why I don't ever give her flowers or presents, but when I do she asks what's gotten into me. She blames me for people liking me more than here. She blames me for having more friends. She blames me for her short comings. I just want to be happy! How can I do this? She always tries to put me down and tries to make me feel worthless. This is the woman I married, and did so knowing it was for life! What can I do? How can I help her? (I could write and write here.) I'm not even sure that she would try to help herself. Does she have an inferiority complex? Anything psychological? This has been going on for YEARS. Her family is great.. my family is not, etc. Can anyone help me out with some advice or direct me to someone that may? I appreciate the time taken to read this. Have a good week!
*Lol @ Mr. X, that was cute!
*Mr. Jackson, I would say that... your wife picked you over them so...I'd let it go, I do not share the male ego-trip. However, I can say that I am sure dwelling over it is not appealing to her, she picked you for a reason rejoice in that. If you do not trust in your self, then trust in her opinion!
*Anton, you are still young, focus in on your priorities and accomplishments in life and a relationship will come when you are ready. Develope other strengths and build confidence in your self, remember you have already rejected your self and failed when you never try to begin with... so why not try not like you can fail worse than not trying at all! DO NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OR PRECEIVE
IT WILL ONLY HOLD YOU BACK! People that love you will always love you! AND YOUR BEST IS ALWAYS GOOD ENOUGH, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW YOU PUT YOUR HEART IN IT, just enjoy it in the process. There is always a winner and a looser, but it is the enjoyment of the game that brings it all together!
the sign Fault Finder, 1 thing i can also associate it with is, "misery loves company."
great hub! very informative, concise and well-explained. keep it up! ;)
i think i have a complex...:(
sammy needs to keep her thoughts to her self
hello.. sir i m very beautiful girl n enough intelli gent in studies ..but yet i feel very inferior complex as my family backgroung not so much gud .. my freinds think that i m very rich but its not like that .. even i nevr do show off in front of anybody . wht i do to get rid of it..
Ahaha, I may actually have an inferiority complex! Five out of six signs? Maybe I should get this looked into~ ;D
Hi thanks for giving such informative info' actually that's the word i was told by my Girlfriend few days ago,can you imagine she's pregnant and she want to go back to her ex boyfriend whom they had child together....you tell me why can i not feel rejected after spending almost all my savings to take care of her.....
Okay, firstly, many complexes are developed based on the attainment of the knowledge of its existence. It is likely that none of you truly have an inferiority complex, the above "symptoms" are characteristics of a slightly socially awkward HUMAN being. We all feel that way because of that very fact, our humanity. It is simply the way our psyche is; jealously and the whole idea of 'crab mentality' is how we function. If I told you that you were a person always trying to
get more out of life, trying to get to the other side where the grass is supposedly greener, you'd probably agree with me. Everyone is trying to get ahead and I feel that really isn't a tell-tale sign of said "inferiority complex". This would be so, considering that there are two ways of getting ahead, either being outstanding, or making the competition seem less so. Since the former is harder to achieve than the latter, we go for the easier route. The section about the vast desire for trivial flattery, do we not all want to be told how well we did for something? Fishing for complements is hardly a sign of this issue.
The easiest way to determine if a person truly possesses such a complex, is to converse with them. This achieves two things, firstly, it allows you to determine their level of intelligence, and secondly, to size them up as a person. In this modern informative age, intelligence is the main deciding factor if you are superior, or otherwise. If this person has little knowledge, or even worse, a blantantly low intellect, yet still has very a assertive and agumentative personality, it is likely they have such a complex.
P.S. Sammy Keys, "you're" spelling is fantastic too.
I am a decent looking 18 year old girl who takes care of herself and works hard at life. I always let guys down, because i over analyze situations by thinking bad will happen and i always find faults in them, but really its an excuse as i have low self esteem when it comes to taking a chance in relationships. Ive never properly kissed a guy, i can never let myself go.
I hope one day i will find the right guy who can accept how i am and have the patients to give me time to let go, because i will love to be a great loving fun mum and wonderful wife.
I have no close friend and I can not share my secret with anybody. I cant beleive people and always hait those people who did better then me.
I believe that i have a complex.Ill start from the beginning. My Dad and his family constantly belittled and intimated me. I believe it was out of love, as they were just trying to make me tougher. However, it has made me look down on myself. When people start to argue or question me , I shut down. I start to get nervous and can't focus. Suddenly I can't remember my point and I end up looking stupid. This has been the case for years and as a result Ive had quite a few nicknames and have never been able to keep a best friend or even a consistent group . I doubt myself every day.
I also feel a dubious level disappointment coming from the family as well. As child I was always seen as highly intelligent. However I was diagnosed with ADD and ever since then i realized I truly can't focus. A part of me is lacking behind my peers. I have been in college for 4 years now and will probably not graduate for another year or more. At every family meeting when asked what I am going to do after college, I have no answer. I cant tell them that I truly have no more motivation. As well as a large amount of financial aide to pay back. I lay in my bed for hours sometimes just because i don't want to see people . I think I am honestly afraid to succeed . That if I do , it will be unearned and I will eventually let everyone down. I feel that I am writting this just to get some kind of response like "its okay," "go see a doctor" . But i don't need that . Is there anybody else that can relate to what I am saying?Please give me some advice.
I'm a good looking girl.It was a love marriage for us.i'm a confident person too.but wen my husband praises another girl or women ,i cant tolerate it.i'm too possessive for him.i know that he loves me so much.But when he appreciate another charming girls. Like "oh look how gorgeous she is! She is so cute etc ...i feel that i am nothing for him.what shall i do?
To Jape......and I suppose everyone here if it helps.
I totally understand you, it's a common feeling, and yes I would say that you do have this 'complex'. There are a lot of sites that tell you the signs in some sort of accusatory style, but this site is the only site so far that has helped me just a little bit. See what you think and I really hope it helps:
Temporary phase? Ridicolous... Perhaps for those of you for whom the inferiority is imagined. I have an iq of 85, therefore I am inferior by default to everyone with an iq above 85. Fact. Not a feeling, merely reality. How could anything like that be overcome, short of actually increasing my general intelligence.
With my miniscule iq, the world opens up to me offering only something along the lines of a future ruled by a low-wage rob and horrible working conditions. Insipid as a word, defines me exceptionally well.
Why would I wish for a "cure" anyway: Psudo-confidence, that type of confidence which exceeds actual aptitude, is utterly worthless and I would rather have nothing of it.
I'm subhuman, or may just as well be it.
There are no rules to having an inferiority complex, anybody claiming otherwise is purely going by their own experiences, and as you see in the article there are lots of contradictions such as flatter me, Don't flatter me, that's rubbish, the latter usually is a good sign that the person is very humble.
The person could well also be a perfectionist like me and have most of those signs mentioned, which itself proves the article is invalid.
I'm completely a confident person in all aspects of life and anybody who knows me would confirm this, and yet I meet most of those signs, for instance, I avoid people by in large not because I'm afraid of competition etc. but because I see them all to dumb and too shallow to be associating with.
One must bear in mind that majority of people are stupid in this day and age since the governments are keeping them dumbed down using media and other means
i am 20.i feel like this.. but how can i overcome from this...................plz adv me on my e-mail....deeprakash1991@gmail.com
That's me to a t
i always have a hard time dealing with others because i think i am not good enough.. hmm. i am really suffering with this inferiority complex. but i think it's time for me to change myself. i'm sick of it.
I hate this..
I always avoid difficult things like reporting, talking in front of class or a crowd. Whenever I'm with someone that isn't one of my close friends, I become quiet, I only talk if he/she asks me a question or starts the conversation. But I don't feel this way when I am with my close friends. I am very talkative and loud ONLY when I am with my friends, but when my friends aren't around I am very, VERY quiet.
When I talk in front of a crowd, or making a speech in class, I always expect the worst things to happen.
4/5 but I'm still confident yet inferior inside? Help?
P.S: Correcting someone yet making a mistake yourself? "You're" doing it wrong.
im 13 and believe that im the worst person in the world. i show all these signs....... im kinda worried now. i hate competition, i always want complements, im a HUGE hermit and i find others and my own faults very easily.......
I think i use too suffer with an inferiority complex in my teenage right upto my early twenties low self esteem and confidence..even now i still feel i do suffer from that inferiority complex ..that feeling iam not good enough or iam not able to give my best in all that i do..but off lately i have started reading alot of books on positive behavior in personal life and i read the bible for god holy inspiration..Plus i think positive of my self and avoid negative things (like talks and people ) who can be a bad influence to me..it has help me so far..dear friend i believe if, we must have faith and trust in our own selves to over come our short comings then nothing is impossible for us..believe in your self ..set no barriers for yourself and you will over come all the hurdles and obstacle in your way..Be positive ,stay positive and keep smiling always..take care and god bless you all..
i was a low-esteem person last time. when i was being questioned, i cannot continue the argument and reasons but quickly apologized or say 'i might be wrong about it' even though i know that my answer is correct. i don't believe in myself.i often shut myself in the room avoiding parties and friends; hiding my communication flaws by avoiding conversations. i used to.
but since i went into uni, i began thinking that my life cannot be just this. i have to do something about it. i have to face my own fear to grow up. i have to be brave, not shy. what is so shy about admitting my own flaw? i used to fear of the unknown i would face in the future, in the process of growing up, but by shutting yourself in a room will not solve the problem. what i will gain in being a hermit? i often ask myself the same question when i try to chicken out again.
inferiority complex, it's all about the fear, what do i need to fear about? the unknown? fear of being not good enough? that's why i always try to do my best, but i'm sure there's always people better than you. but why are there always people that are better than you? it's because i used my time by having inferiority complex with myself telling myself 'i'm not good enough.' it IS all in my mind.i have done my best and i have no regrets.
this 'inferiority complex' is all about me being too free, nothing to work on, this is why it grows in my mind.if i first ignored it when this idea came into my mind, i wouldn't have suffered. ignore it, it will go away.i'm just thinking too much, might as well use my time to continue my research on this topic. thank you all for being my 'test subjects'. :)
Suffering alot from low self esteem.i have never felt good enough for anything.
nice post. i think i've been suffering this too. I put myself down. i'd like to seek informations about how to get out of what i feel right now but i think it might not change everything.
I think I have this too I kinda hate how people have it better then me I feel like life is complicated and I will fail at it cause I don't adapt to society when Im around people Im shy and kind of a hermit I never had a girl friend and I think everyone judges me and hates me I think they are out to get me or something the only thing that keeps me talking to people is drinking and smoking weed which is fun and helps me relax but why can't I find it in myself to talk to one stranger its so scary seeing what they think of you my brother has it better then me he can talk to people and they don't think he's awekword plus he well liked and he got friends mean while I can't really think of one true friend they seem to let me down I spend time drinking as if im finding a message in the bottle trying to cope with life you know drinking by yourself I really don't have no one but my mom and dad and my brother other people just want to fuck me over in my life thats why I can't get close to anyone in my younger days I had friends who I can rely on but now it looks as if society has turned on me I don't really got any thing going for me other then living life what makes me happy is smoking weed and playing video games and sometimes hanging out with the right people I really do think I have a complex I know im being negative but sometimes I just really hate life I keep thinking about the past and how it be nice to start over my life but im stuck here :(
:( thats exacly how I feel ...
Dont know how to change this...This has ruin my life so far...
I always feel bad when girls say i'm handsome, i just feel like they're kidding me. I'm i having inferiority complex?
You're all amazing! Life is a ride with ups and downs enjoy the ride. Insecurities are a waste of time let go of the ego and smile.
Love everyone as much as you can! The ability to move through this life and experience and be conscious through it is an amazing gift. Have a blast everything is impermanent it will be over before we know it. Have fun meet as many people as possible own your flaws were only human this is a cosmic party enjoy yourself! See the world and act now! I love you beautiful people!!
Hey jim, you might want to look into the possibility of narcissism as well. And if she isn't it's good to know anyway because these "people" are everywhere and they'll suck all the happiness out of you.
Hi everyone. I have pretty good self esteem about myself because I am ME. I really don't give a rat's a** about what anyone thinks because no one knows ME like myself. Every single one of us has flaws whether we admit them or not. BUT every single one of us is unique and I've learned that I'm the ONLY Kala exactly like myself. No one is exactly like me or any of you so with that in itself, you should feel special to be the only YOU in this world. That means you should take positive risks, do activities only YOU enjoy (possibly making friends who enjoy the same things you do), and be successful in what YOU want to do. Trust me, I don't really have a best friend or group of friends so I'm basically alone w/ my thoughts & feelings but I manage easier & get less distracted from my classes & save money without spending it going out. The hardest part about this is that you need to feel comfortable in your own skin and know yourself to gain that self esteem. And I also believe in spirituality or religion. I'm 24 and just recently started praying & reading about religion after a horrible break up that had my head spinning. I've never been religious, due to the fact my grandmother is extremely religious yet talks crap about people, is only loving and nurturing when guests are around, and is very selfish and controlling. She wasn't a good example for my own mother who then didn't take me to church (only on holidays). Praying & talking to God has helped me tremendously. I feel that He has an eye on me and I really have seen positive changes in myself & my situation. Here's something that helped: Do something you wouldn't normally do to test yourself. I've eaten by myself at a restaurant which MANY people cannot do. Like myself, I was afraid but felt more independent for doing it. Or even try flirting with someone you're interested in.. if it doesn't work, WHO GIVES A SH*T? Try the next! Basically tell yourself, WHO GIVES A SH*T?! And do what makes YOU happy. The only person who can judge you is the man upstairs, so live the life you were given!
wot is it with me wen i talk to people next day i think av said sumet rong , an get panic attacks
i think i do tooo!!!! hu hu hu
I'm 35yo man going to 28,lack of define manly features has left me a bruised ego,
im 15 years old, ive lived w/ my dad for as long as i can remember, my mom does drugs and has 3 kids w/ 3 different guys, one has recently gotten out of jail, the other went to jail on christmas eve, my aunts always telling me to be better then my mom and break the chain of "junkies" in my family, i have social anxiety and get nervous when im told i have to do things w/ other people in class, im 4 11 and im kinda chubby, ive been asked out by guys as a joke multiple times dont like talking ot people unless its necessary....would u say i have an inferiority complex?
A.B.S.M you sound like a sweet girl and very smart! your 15 so many wonderful things you can do to keep yourself busy focus on your studies do good just say " NO!" to drugs. And remember always put god frist in your life he will always be there all you have to is listen. take care i wish you all the best that life can offer you :)
I have an inferiority complex too. I have always had that feeling that i wasn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or skinny enough. I've made a lot of choices that i regret and constantly beat myself over. I'm 29 years old and still working on getting a college degree. Social situations intimidate me, taking challenges scare me. All the mentioned signs apply to me. I need help.
Boy do i have this complex??...from wats described here i might just be on its 15725th level :(.....i m this close to jumping off the bridge in the light of me being not worthy of anything!!!!
Yes i do have mostly all of the things you have written. I know it pretty well, i thought i will overcome it by time but i was wrong. Its getting worst and complicated.
probably the most difficult thing is to envy your sibling, which happened to me since I saw my newborn brother. He is loved by parents more than me, more relaxed and girls liked him much more than me (or it was a complex). This feeling of inferiority is still with me despite I love him very much
Parents and adults in charge must help children tune into their Inner Life which is not influenced by the outer life. If one is happy inside, why do we focus on what is going on outside. The answer is coming in the year 2012 and beyond. We need to give sincere encouragement to each other!
Hey! I never paid much attention to this inferiority thing. I have always been told that it's a scam and its just people making excuses for their lack of self control and self discipline and whatever. I don't really know if that's true, but I have a couple of these issues, mostly with shutting myself off and hating compliments and stuff like that. One thing i do know is that thinking you are small compared to others really is a problem. It messed me up in more ways that one this year. Its ok to talk about it with someone, but saying you haven an inferiority complex just for attention or 'cuz you think it sounds cool is pointless and annoying.
Suffering from low self-esteem, I mean, I would always find some good points from others and then compare it to myself. then I would say dang this guys better than me. Everyone's better than me. I'm untalented, a loner, I have bad social skills, always bullied during school, does not have good grades, no cash, no girlfriend, no job, and incidentally no guts either. I even started thinking I have a mental disorder or something, just so that I can make up excuses for being a failure.
Dear Random Guy:
You were not given what you needed as a child in your Second Embryonic Stage (Birth to 6 years of age: which is the period of time in the development of a human when the psyche is forming.) A child is naturally confident and strong if his inner-life is protected. If a child is mistreated, criticized or held down by a tyranny of some sort, he is psychically wounded. We must learn as a society how to help our children keep the natural confidence they have as a birth right.
Am chuke, am 18 and i tink i feel inferior in some areas of my life, like my relationship life and some other social areas of my life and am realy trying to overcome it....
I don't have the 1st and 6th signs. I never want to pull someone down with me. I can see both their strength and weakness, and I encourage them on things that they are good at.
However, I have the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th signs. They are all true for me, and they make me feel alone and unloved. Many times I say things different from what my heart feels, to protect myself from being judged, being rejected, being laughed at like a fool. Although, recently I have discovered the goodness in me, I still have this fear, and it is still very strong.
I know what I must do is overcome it. It is not easy because I cannot speak to my own family. They don't know what I have for years (about 16 years or so). However, I believe I can overcome it (and you all can, too). It takes a lot of time though.
Thank you for writing this article, mhei. God bless you!
Peer pressure is a source of confusion. All I can say is pick good peers and have the wisdom to do so. Parents can be helpful on this. Acceptance of your child is so vital... Also when teens go astray, help them stay on the right path with positive encouragement. Try to understand the pull of the inner need to identify with the peers in and of their world: the environment which the parents have put them into. In a proactive way, parents should put the child into an environment that will benefit the child. particularly during middle school years.
Inferiority complex is a deadly diseases caused by not being adquately informed and also, one forgeting acquired information.
Recently, I've met this girl at my work place, she and I sortta clicked instantly, but by the time I get to know more about her, I start feeling like I am never ever going to be good enough for her..I mean given her family-financial background, education level and looks, we are like two worlds apart..I did confess to her about my IC, then she started ignoring me..what can I do?
PS: she is not the first girl that I feel such a way, only this time, I don't want to lose her..
Do not try to gain acceptance. Do not put yourself into a position with the possibility of rejection. Instead fill the void in other peoples hearts with your own joyful presence!
i cant take any kind of criticism from adults... when i get any... i either feel awkward and want to dissapear or i immediately break into tears and think about cutting killing myself drinking smoking or anything to make the extreme emotional pain i feel away. i never feel the same as my pears. i almost always feel they are better than me and i spend plenty of time bringing them down but have to big of a heart to say any of it out loud. im 16 and just now am beginning to make friends until this year any friend i had was a friend of pity or someone who stabbed me in the back. the friends i am barely getting now all seem to be good people but i wonder constantly when they will hurt me. i almost never go home. the only times i do are when im high and dont feel the pain of judgment from my grandmother. she always acts like i dont do enough no matter how much i do. no matter where i have lived this has always been the case. i hate going home i try to stay out with my new friends (who no dont like me for pot most of them dont even smoke) just because thats the only place i feel kind of excepted. i try to stay in that world as much as i can. is this Inferiority complex or am i just some screwed up kid??
Hi Unsure. You need acceptance. Every single one of us needs acceptance. Especially hard are the teen years when teens want to identify with their peer group. It is just part of growing up. So, my advice is to not give up. Try to give. DON'T PUT yourself into the position of being a victim. If you GIVE you have control over it. Give others the joy of your unique presence. There is no one else like you. Just being you is the best gift you can give to anyone. Just give your attention and interest to someone you admire...someone with soul. Look carefully. I guarantee if you do this, you will find someone who will recognize you and accept you. Because someone with soul has the ability to accept you. Thats just how they are. Enjoy the search.
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Lawrence Jackson 2 years ago
I feel like I am the worst thing in the world. My wife dated two football plyers who were very goo. She was my girlfriend at the time. I did not find out until after we started dating. After twenty years I caanot let my inferiority complex let that go. I feel like crap becasue they are better than me.